Le Sigh- Part Deux

So, last night was interesting.

We had a good little chat over some coffee. It wasn't as fabulous as I had pictured. In a way, I felt like I was cheating on Matt, and Brad....and well, what was I even doing.

We stayed out for like an hour. From start to finish, I clocked in at 60 minutes. Cute guy, but I'd def need to see where things go and hang out again before I decide if I want him, but I doubt that will happen. When the coffee shop closed, it seemed like we were just humouring each other into hanging out and prolonging the situation. It felt like something that would never end, but that we didn't want it to end at the same time. It's like we couldn't make up our minds about one another. I still can't, but I doubt he's the man for me.

I think it's time to accept the fact that I have been trying to ignore for a while: I am jaded.

I have reached the point in my life where I can tell if a meeting (or "a date") is going to go well even before it happens. Even days before it happens. It's not that I'm a fatalist, it's that I know what I am looking for.

I guess I just know that I won't really feel anything for a guy because he's not what I REALLY want, you know? But I still keep going on these meetings because I think it will be different and the "I never thought I'd like someone like him, but I do" phenom will hit me. I keep thinking it'll be affected by the "looks meaning nothing" mentality with just one guy.

Le sigh- part deux.