Saturday Night Divas

So after I tutored, I was tired as hell from the night before with Shawn. All I wanted to do was get home and get some sleep...and maybe a shower.

So I decided to go to Chinatown first and get these delicious Dim Sum custard buns (to all...Kim Moon Bakery on Dundas @ Spadina..HEAVEN).

Finally getting home at about 4 PM, I immediately changed my clothes and hoped onto the couch before my best came over. My roommate and he were going to see the Chantal concert at Massey Hall, and I had to admit I was slightly jealous.

Let me explain my roommate to you: late twenties, just got out of a ten year relationship that ended badly, and is trying to loose weight. A complete physical and emotional mess, I moved in with a complete slob and a total train wreck. But I love her. And I don't even know why because sometimes I doubt she feels the same way about me. We've been having many problems lately, especially with her cat that she promised she would get rid off and our lease clearly forbids. She's one of those people who think they are always ALWAYS the victim. So it's ever so hard to get through to them. So needless to say, it's a HUGE challenge. That girl got some issues.

Anyway, I was feeling completely drained from my roommate stress, school work, job stuff, and of course, the fact that I had met this great guy but I had already fooled around with his ex. It was all very much on my mind.

As the night went on, and I kept falling asleep and waking up, it was time to get ready. Shawn was supposed to be at Buddies that night, but in between our 100 or so txt messages, we decided that if we were both gonna be there, we would just run into each other. I couldn't risk it, so I put on the best outfit I had and went for it.

Nom was late as per usual. I couldn’t wait any longer. With my Vod-Ginger Ale in one water bottle, and ready to go, she called me to meet her at the station and bring her some "juice." I hated when she did this. Was 15 mins late and didn't even bother to call me. Schedules people, SCHEDULES!

When I finally got to the station, it was all good. I told her about some rooomie probs and she was giving me advice, and then I realized she didn't have any chaser. So naturally, I had to bust my ass off at a stop and run out to the top platform to get her some apple juice. It was fucking annoying.

We finally managed to make it to Buddies only to realize my best was not there. What the fuck, I thought as we waited outside for his ass for what seemed like fifteen minutes. It was here when I found out Nom had no money, as per usual, and said Rhi would cover her. Something he told me he found annoying when we all went out on Thursday night.

When Rhi finally arrived, we hurried into the club. As we were paying cover, he handed me sixty dollars in front of Nom. It was "Kill the cat" cash because my roomie said that if I wanted it out so bad, I should do it myself.

This is why it's annoying. It's not my cat to kill, nor is it my responsibility. I talked to her two seconds after she dropped Rhi off and she didn't even bother to mention it to me. And Rhi pulled out the cash in front of the broke ass bitch we love, who immediately wanted me to lend her 20 bucks. It's not my money to lend. I told her straight away no deal. I'm not gonna give her cash that's not mine to give. And she got pissed, of course. Started talking smack about how I was being rude and been in such a bad mood these last few days, and I'm hurting people around me. It was all bullshit and she even tried to pull the "I'm going home" bit, which sent me over the edge. Had I REALLY not cared, I would have turned my back, checked my coat, and walked right to the dance floor without her ass. But I'm better than that. After I listened to her go on and on about how it wasn't about the money, we finally moved past it, or so I thought. And Rhi spent the night buying her drinks.

As soon as we turn out onto the dance floor, there he was. Shawn. I saw him but pretended not to see him. It was killer. Up until that point, I was all "que sera, sera" about it, but now after we had spent the last night together, the feelings hit me. But I was already too pissed I just wanted to dance.

After a while, we started texting back and forth to each other and it came out that I was in the club and so was he. So I got the courage to go up and say hello.

"Janet sings it,” I said smiling, responding to his last txt, as I walked up to him. He was dancing with a girl, his best friend's sister.

"You went to my high school" was the first thing that popped out of her mouth. I was wordless.

After making a few minutes of small talk, he seemed very much at a distance to me.

So I made my way back to my girls and told them straight away.

"It's not meant to be. It's too written in the stars."

The irony of Rhi's words haunted me. The irony of something being written in the stars was actually working against me. Was it fate that we were not meant to be? We were already so connected, how could it possibly work against me?

I made my way to a little corner to txt Tina. She was always there and we somehow always seemed to be on the same emotional level. I stayed there for 20 mins. It's like I went into hiding and didn't want to come back out.

I had run away back home for a few days, but it seems like that didn't solve my problems, and they just kept coming back.

Nom had left by this point, and Shawn txted me that he was leaving and wanted to say bye. I barely got anything from him. Hell, even the high school chick gave me a kiss on the cheek. It was getting to me. BIG TIME.

Shortly afterwards, Rhi and I opted to leave. We were sick of buddies, sick of men, sick of it all.

On the subway ride home, Rhi confessed that my roomie was talking shit to him about me again. We had gone through this once before and it seemed she still hadn't learned her lessons. Apparently, she was annoyed that she felt her furniture was being used, as well as her utensils and that if my friends want to say over...get this…maybe they should sleep on the floor. She fails to realize that this is half my apartment too, and only because I let her is her stuff all over the place. It was either get rid of it or have none of mine.

Things are getting shaky again, and I have no idea what's going to happen. As I walked out of the station, I felt a small tear come to my face. I can't help but think I made all the wrong choices. I told Shawn the truth and now things are weird. I moved out with a psycho I thought I could change, and now she wants me out if I don't change.

I don't know what to think or what to do. I felt nothing but emptiness.

Rhi never did get his money from Nom.