Elegiac

This morning was unlike any other.

I got a txt message, however, from some weird guy I've been talking to online. I must say...It was awkward.

Hey, I'm only so lucky to have someone like you interested in me.

That aside, nothing eventful happened. I got a txt from Shawn:

Someone's quiet today.

And then I finally managed to talk to him online. And, like predicted. This thing was over before it started. Apparently, he loves hanging out with me but can't get over the fact that I fooled around with his ex.

I knew that trying to convince him was useless. And I am not in the business of convincing people. He either wanted to be with me or not. If I can deal with the fact that he dated a guy who once upon a time made me feel so used and like an object, then he can deal with that other fact.

I couldn't tell: was it an excuse not to date me or was he being geniune? Was that his way of what I do to not get close to a guy that could make my life amazing? So many questions and it hurt me to think that my truth shot me in my own foot. Fuck sakes.

Besides, it was about me and Shawn, not me and his ex. I'm not gonna lie, it was a bit sad. Nothing has been quite the same for a while now, since I moved in with the crazy heifer actually. Was her unbalanced lifestyle affecting mine? Why does it even fucking matter?

Now the only guy to let me down next is B, though he won't be back for another week, so our story will have to wait.

But oh well, you win some, you lose most.